Episode Eighteen: All About The Mantras

Are you a little lost and lacking motivation to achieve your goals? On this episode of Self Made, Jessica and Stella & Dot's Chief Inspiration Officer, Danielle Redner, share their top five mantras. These positive phrases and philosophies will boost your mojo and give you the inspiration you can turn into action steps in your daily life.

About this Episode

Are you a little lost and lacking motivation to achieve your goals? On this episode of Self Made, Jessica and Stella & Dot’s Chief Inspiration Officer, Danielle Redner, share their top five mantras. These positive phrases and philosophies will boost your mojo and give you the inspiration you can turn into action steps in your daily life.

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Transcript

Hello this is Jessica Herring founder and CEO of the Stella not family brands. And thisis my brand new podcast self-made.

Welcome to this episode of self-made and if you need a little mojo and inspiration inyour life I think you're gonna like this because it's all about the mantra that saying yousay to yourself that expresses what you believe in how you want to feel your valuesjust something you love. I'm going to share my top five mantras and then you canhear Daniel Radner the chief inspiration officer for Stella Got Her top mantras becauseshe is one of the most inspiring people I know. So she's got good ones trust me you'regonna love it. All right let's dig in first. What is actually a mantra. Well I looked it up sothat I could you know Google thank you. To make this accurate is originally a word inHinduism and Buddhism. That's a sound you repeat a concentration and meditation.Right so it's like when you're in yoga it's the arm or whatever else you're saying. Butreally I think of mantras as almost like the quotes that go around on Instagram thestatement or slogan that you repeat frequently. That just helps you focus andbecomes your your battle cry for what you need in life. So these are the things thatare a little nuggets of advice a little simple short ways to say things I really care about.OK. Here we go. My top five mantras monster number one show up like you are luckyto be there. I think that's a nice way of saying have gratitude for everything you doevery single day and make the best out of every situation that you're in. Someone wasrecently asking me to give their kid who was just graduating from college. Advice fortheir first job. And that mantra was my advice show it like you're lucky to be there. Youreally have to look at every situation with gratitude and then you make the most ofthat situation you could always focus on what's wrong. But you can also always focuson what's right. That's about seeing the opportunities and not the obstacle and justkeeping perspective that you are so lucky. Monitor Number two you are in charge ofyou. OK I guess that's why this podcast is called self-made. So let me talk more aboutthat. I really believe that your life is created by the love and the mentorship of otherpeople. So doesn't mean you're on islands and that what you do is all credited to you.No of course it's other people that support you that create things with you but you'rein charge of you is really driving home this sense of self and locus of control and theabsolute need to be responsible for your own actions emotions and attitude. Meaningif you're saying to yourself Oh I can't do this or I have to do this from someone else.It's like well last I checked you're in charge of you. So can you change that situation. Idon't use other people or circumstances as an excuse. Monitor number three love ismy religion. So I love that song and why it becomes one of my mantras. Is that what Imean by that is love first passion first people first kindness first. If you just have as aguiding principle how things make you feel and not just what is logical or right butwhat is about love then you make the right career decisions the right relationshipdecisions the right people decisions.

And that's just a big one for me. Love is my religion. I am a feeler a deep deep feelerI'm a very passionate person and so I feel deeply all things so that makes sense forme. Number four.

You are entitled to nothing. You do not consistently work for men. I think my daddrilled this one into me and it goes along with that. Keep yourself grateful and do notcarry entitlement entitlement weighs you down. Entitlement is probably one of myleast liked traits or things that I see in the world because I really don't believe thatwhat you did once is where you rest on your laurels. I never want to do that. I'm notentitled to success I created yesterday. I'm entitled to success. I create today is thenumber one thing that I try to tell my girls around. You got to work for it as much asyou want it. And you've got to connect your our wants with an I will. You've got tohustle you've got to create and that's it. Right. Eric when you think about like what'sfair what's not fair. OK. There's lots of things in life that are not fair. But when it comesto having things or wanting things right. To me it's just about always bring your senseof unwilling to work for it. And therefore you will then go have it. Monster number fivedon't let the time it takes to accomplish a goal don't you. The time will pass anyway.This mantra really struck home for me because I think about what do I deeply deeplywant not what am I ready for and what am I equipped for not what's going to be fastnot what's gonna be easy but what do I want and if it's five years from now ten yearsfrom now whatever that daunting duration is what I still want that.

And if the answer is yes like a whole body absolutely yes then the reality is modest willjust get working on it because the time is gonna pass anyway. That's the one thingthat we know for sure we're not going to stop getting older. The time is going to pass.So you might as well go for the really big thing okay. Those are my top five mantrasand you're really going to win here. Danielle's motto is she going to bring her on next.

By the way my six mantra This is just a little hint it's a bonus mantra and I decided notto do it here but to do it as a whole another upcoming episode. It's called you do you.

So we're going to get more into that in a future episode. But for right now let's getmore inspired by one of the most inspiring people I know.

When you think about why people want Montrose it's to get some mojo. It's to getsome inspiration that they want to turn into action in their daily life. And I know noone better than giving inspiration in fact that's why Danielle Rudner has the veryunique title of chief inspiration officer because she is the most inspiring funnyhilarious energy giving amazing human on the planet. So I thought who better than toshare their mantras. Then be Danielle Rudner. Danielle. I'm so excited to hear aboutyour mantras.

I don't know if I could live up to that intro just scared but I'm going to try because I dolove a mantra take a little bite sized thought right.

Oh I know you can live up to that intro because you are inspiring and honestly even ifI've heard your inspiration before I love it every time and you're right face thoughtsfool me. Okay Danielle Tell me about your Montrose. I want to hear your top five sobreak it down for me. What's number one.

All right. Number one my favorite of all time. Because the rest don't even matter if youdon't get to this one. You got to take action to feel good. Don't wait to feel good totake action.

Oh I love that right. It's discipline not mojo that matters right now. Everyone's gotinspired every second of the day.

His Mojo is optional but discipline is not.

I love that. OK. So I think you actually have more tips to write on. What do you meanby take action. How do you optimize for doing that if you're not inspired and you don'tfeel good.

I think you've got to have some systems in place. You know it depends on if it's whatyou're talking about your life. Is it your business to put your health whatever butyou've got to have some systems in place. You've got to have a time of day when youdo it.

That's just scheduled. You got to know how to do it. So when you get to it you get rightdown to it. You don't spend like the time you have trying to figure out what to do. Ifyou can have some accountability you know that's going to be key. But if you if youwant something badly enough you're just kind of revoking free will.

Like I remember driving in a car with you once and we were laughing about justrevoking free will because if you just revoke free will you get there so much faster inTimmy's schedules are the key to not just waiting for the motivation instead of takingaction.

But you don't get up in the morning and say do I feel like brushing my teeth. Right. Sothat's something as happening you simply I love what you're saying is that if you putyourself a schedule you focus on the tasks you find a friend. So you're accountable.You make it a bit fun and you just do it really quick. I love about what you're saying tois your monitor kind of includes the fact that. And then when you do it you feel good.You don't feel good to do it. You do it and then you feel good.

What does number two never do is it's actually more about even a philosophy that I'mlaunching. But it's leave people feeling better than when you met them. And I think it'severything. I mean it's how you create energy in the room it's how you're moreeffective it's why people want to be.

Around you it's how you build momentum as well. You know it's how you do what youdo and how you leave people feeling more than just how you do it.

That by the way is your special gift that is so what you do. You ignite everyone. Ialways joke that my family I think they might like you more than they love me.Whenever they hear you're coming to town they're like I'd love to have you out. That'sjust because it's rare.

We're not if you're around me all the time they'd be done.

What it was comes from it's the Maya Angelou quote right that people forget what yousaid but they'll remember how you made them feel. And I think that it's so easy to getwrapped up in having accuracy in what you say or being right at when and thosethings are great and they're important but at the end of the day if you don't leavepeople feeling energized and positive and appreciated it really doesn't go anywhere.

So I love that as your mantra you do that so well I think it's just about being the energynot joining the energy.

You know if you can bring the energy then people just feel better if you ask questionsin your calling. Goodness and people and you listen you don't just always leave thatperson with either a compliment or a challenge to me those are like the two C's youleave them with one of those things they're going to feel better and they're gonna beinspired and you're going to do better to compliment or challenge.

OK. That's interesting. I like that. OK.

Number three know this is this is a good one to be positive in a negative situation isnot naivete. It's leadership.

Now I can't take credit for that but that's I think that's public domain. It's been said somany times but I think it's great.

There's nothing positive about being negative and nothing negative about beingpositive. And some people think of it as a lack of vulnerability or honesty. But it's notthat right. It's leadership like who wants to follow. Of course you're being truthful butyou're not being a pessimist. So tell me more because I agree.

Yeah well I just think it's like it's it's self sabotaging. Otherwise there is in everysituation there's some negativity if you look for it in every situation there's somepositivity if you look for it.

So it's what you look for. Right it's what you decide to highlight. I think never in historyhas anybody ever wanted to be around someone negative voluntarily. So if you had asister because she's.

Into your vortex right. We've heard too that your your personality is the average of thefive people that you hang out with maybe not personality that mindset or attitudes.And why bring other people down. You know again this is not about addressing realissues that I just had this experience. You were there and there was like 20 greatthings men interacted with someone and they brought up like one negative thing andyou're kind of like what. Sometimes it feels like there's not enough bananas in yourfruit basket like that. That's the kind of negativity that you're talking about right. Likedon't walk into a room and lead with that one thing wrong before acknowledging youknow what's right or.

Yeah you know it's sometimes I think that comes from people's fear of beingPollyanna ish like they fear that people will think that they're avoiding the truth. Butthe bottom line is I just think it's what you focus on and if you focus on the positiveyou're going to highlight the positive. And soon you won't even see the negative. So Ilike to think that there's always a negative thing there. But I most the time to behonest I don't even see it because I'm not looking for it.

Yeah. That's a great point I think again and when people are balancing it they'reworried about being Pollyanna. And I think when there are issues there is a way toacknowledge them without dwelling and making sure that if you present a problemyou present a solution to rather than just putting the problem on repeat. Anothergreat one. OK. Give me your next mantra.

Right next to it is I actually this I repeat this one in my mind probably at least fivetimes a day which is oh I can't wait to hear what I do every day.

At some point I say to myself you know what. If other people could do this so can I. It'slike the opposite of negative self talk. It's like positive self talk like somebody else hasdone this thing I'm trying to do right now whatever it is.

And so if someone else can do it surely if I have to know as one person could do thisand then I know that I could do it too cause surely there's at least one joker out therewho wasn't as good at this who managed to do it. So therefore I must be able to do it.

I love that I find again and again that the number one thing that keeps people fromhaving everything they want is not because they're lazy or not you know not born withsome innate talent it's because they're fearful of not succeeding. So they lack self-confidence and self belief. Therefore they don't act therefore they don't improve.Therefore they don't stay consistent. They're trying to get results.

So I like that you like incredible you actually repeat that to yourself five times a day likeoh there's a time and I think that's the irony to you I mean you know we talked tohundreds of people every week and whenever I'm talking to especially like someonewho's newer in their business they they assume that people who've been successfuldon't have that inner dialogue.

And what I have found is that people who are successful actually have that innerdialogue but they know how to answer it. So you still talk all the time. So we pick updoc.

And I think I honestly think the odds are that if there are more people who peoplewho've been successful are not more skilled in my experience speaking to myselfthey're just more tenacious. So you're you may have different skills or a different skillset but that comes later. The tenacity to just keep doing it and be reminding myself Ican do this I can do this. I guess the most important work that is amazing.

OK. That is so good. Do you have any more more interest to share.

No. This is number five. I mean I can give you twenty seven but let's go for five.

Now again this is not mine. This is public domain. I'm pretty sure Oprah has said thisabout a thousand times but I love it.

And that is that when you raise your expectations the world will meet you there.

And I believe that so deeply and I think we constantly just lower our own expectationsso that we don't disappoint ourself. And it's quite the opposite actually. If you justcommunicate what you want. You talked about it and then you make the right seriesof small choices to backup that decision. You're going to be successful.

I love that. OK. Give me an example. What's a case where you think people tend toneed that mantra. Because they go in with lower expectations than they should have.

I mean as he gets any anything in their business they're going for the you start youknow an entrepreneur starting a business is often going for the low bar because thenshe won't let people down if she gets there or she you know will be embarrassing or ina relationship. I think people are often well if he just does this and it's such a patheticlow here here's a big had two husbands they both unloaded the dishwasher withoutbeing asked do you know why. Because that's just the expectation I'm setting. Don'tapply if you're gonna have to ask to be asked to unload the dishwasher does it.

It's you've got to communicate that thing. I had an example of it in my own life. I droveby our house. It was like we should buy that house. And my husband was like we havea house. We're not looking for a house.

I know what I want to talk about this now comes that maybe it will happen. And itactually did. But if you don't think about it talk about it and then maybe put somesmall steps in place for it to happen. It's not going to happen. So just putting that bigexpectation out there talking about it and then taking some incremental action. It's it'sit's key and everything.

So I think there's something underneath that. Around why people would lower theirexpectations. They believe that if they lower their expectations and they can't fail thenthey won't be disappointed because they've being realistic. But it keeps you small.Right. So if you are able to raise your expectations and actually put out a big goal evenif you don't know exactly how it's going to happen it actually begins the process of youfiguring out how to make it happen. So I love that that is a fantastic mantra. Andfrankly Daniel every single one of your mantras I feel like we could turn in to an entireepisode. So we come back so we can do that.

I mean it would be a very very long episodes but yes any time you have every contractcould be more so. I want to hear from you all.

What do you want to hear more about what are you curious about. First of all let's talkabout what self-made is does it mean that you make yourself without people. Danielleis a pivotal partner in my life that creates the success that in our world but with allyour mantras have about self-made is what you do for yourself to help make your selfstronger. To be in those partnerships with other people. So Daniel I'm going to askyou to put you on the spot to do this self-made challenge which is really making surepeople can have a tactical takeaway where they can act on it if they can go make adifference in their life.

Right after listening What's your challenge a challenge.

I think it is right down this. Like literally write it down. The thing that you are afraid tosay that you want. And then on a separate Page One little step that you could take inthe next 48 hours to move yourself there. Can I share one last little analogy that willhelp with that. Of course you can. There is. I was I heard this recently and I'm not asports person although you just inspired me about soccer. But I also heard a baseballanalogy which was that the most valuable baseball players of all time are the playersthat were consistently hit a base hit vs. like the home run hitter because you can't youcan count on the babysat person. And success comes in on a team or over time fromsomebody who can every time get on base versus the volatile now and then home runhitter. So what is like what's the big goal and then what's that base hit. You can do inthe next 48 hours because then you're going to feel good and then you're going totake action and you're going to feel positive. And you're going to feel better than whenyou came into it. And then you're also going to realize that if other people can do it socan you I love it.

If you take action tip I am the master of using sports analogies when I don't actuallyunderstand the sport but you still get the point. So thank you all for listening. And ifyou love one of Danielle's mantras and you want to share them with others pleaseshare this episode. You can subscribe you can review anywhere that you findpodcasts. And Daniel where can they follow you on Instagram so they can soak upyour wit and witticism all the time.

It's Danielle J. As in Jaclyn Radner E D and E.R. right.

Okay well you got it you guys if you want a little love of mantra energy. Feeling betterin your life. You gotta go. Being Danielle's friend social friend online because she will ifyou would like her as much as my family does for you.

Let's be friends let's be friends forever. Let's get you out.